With Christmas seemingly only just over, I can't believe that it is the Easter holidays again already. I used to dread holidays as there is no way that I can manage to go out safely with our two children by myself, but we are very lucky to have a local charity called Coping with Chaos that changed all that. Amongst other things they run at least two activities a day in the school holidays for special needs children and their siblings which for us is a godsend. "Chaos" is a godsend for us as it enables us to all have a fun time and stops us all killing each other by the end of the break!

On Wednesday it was our son's 6th Birthday, as usual it was a manic rush trying to get him ready for school, unwrap the presents and simultaneously play with them. We bought him a Nintendo Wii this year, a much bigger present than we normally buy but it is fantastic for children with special needs. At least that's our excuse! Not only does it keep them active but you do not have to be precise pushing buttons or keys which is difficult - instead you wave a "wand" around to control the game which is much easier. Two of his friends came around for a play on the bouncy castle and fish and chips after school which was great fun and they all seemed to have a great time.

Even though he had a lovely time and the day was a success (apart from me driving off with his homework book on the car roof and losing it!) I felt quite depressed yesterday. I think that the older he gets the more worried I get about how he is going to fit in with society. He has gone past the "cutie" stage as he is now a strapping six year old. The inappropriate and clumsy behaviour that he exhibits is much more obvious now, as a screaming 3 year old is much more anonymous than a much more visible, and noisy, 6 year old. I guess birthdays are a time when you can't help comparing with the skills that other 6 year olds have developed, especially when you receive birthday cards from them with beautiful handwriting.

The never ending diatribe that we used to get when he was younger of "Don't worry he will get there in his own time" has now vanished as we all know that he is not necessarily going to get "there" at all, wherever that is! I love my son to pieces and I would not change him for the world as how he is makes him who he is. However, when I was cuddling him to sleep last night, I did shed a tear or two at the injustice of it all and the fact that I can do nothing at all to change it. All I can offer is love, but I wish I could do so much more.