Our Diary
Undervalued Carers
By Paula on 01 Oct 2008
One of the things that really winds me up is when things seem unfair, and that people do not get enough credit for what they do. This was really brought home to me this week when I saw an advert for a full time Learning Support Assistant position. I couldn’t believe that the salary for this post was just under £9000, in an age when we have got fat cats and business men raking it in, who in my view contribute very little to society. Such assistants are responsible for our children, helping them academically and socially in school. In Michael’s school, the LSA’s are additionally responsible for intimate care, as well as attending to the specific, challenging needs of children who have complex mental, physical and medical conditions.
I volunteer two days a week at Michaels school and I have seen first hand the fantastic job that these people do with just half an hour break for lunch. Personally, I can’t think of any job more valuable than giving anyone the care of our children and I think that it is scandalous that such work is viewed and rewarded so lowly by society. Not fair!
On a lighter note, Michael and I were talking about Halloween the other day after he saw a display in the garden centre. On discussing the tradition of Trick or Treat, Michael looked quite bemused by the whole thing (not surprising really - it sounds quite ridiculous when you actually try and explain it!!) Suddenly he said “Why give Treaters chocolate - give carrots, apples. Sportacus says!” Good old Lazy Town - looks like our house will be the healthiest and least popular house in the street!!
I volunteer two days a week at Michaels school and I have seen first hand the fantastic job that these people do with just half an hour break for lunch. Personally, I can’t think of any job more valuable than giving anyone the care of our children and I think that it is scandalous that such work is viewed and rewarded so lowly by society. Not fair!
On a lighter note, Michael and I were talking about Halloween the other day after he saw a display in the garden centre. On discussing the tradition of Trick or Treat, Michael looked quite bemused by the whole thing (not surprising really - it sounds quite ridiculous when you actually try and explain it!!) Suddenly he said “Why give Treaters chocolate - give carrots, apples. Sportacus says!” Good old Lazy Town - looks like our house will be the healthiest and least popular house in the street!!
Back to School
By Paula on 03 Sep 2008
Blimey - it's quiet! I am sitting in my lounge and all I can hear is the tapping of my lap top keys and the wind blowing the shrubs in the garden. I am also sitting and drinking a hot cup of coffee!! Yes, it is that time of year again when we all let out a collective sigh, wave our charges off and, whilst we love our children to pieces, thank goodness that our forefathers had the insight to make education compulsory!
A big pat on the back to everyone for surviving the hols and hopefully you have all come out of it all relatively unscathed. From our own perspective, we had a really nice 'break' - a few dodgy moments as usual but overall I would say that us and, more importantly, the kids had a really good time. Did loads, and thanks to our fab direct payment carers, the whole process ran a lot more smoothly that normal. It's amazing the difference that an extra pair of hands can make.
We also spent a fun two weeks in France but, as we have found before, a change of environment presents its own issues. Michael coped really well but as usual had to develop his own little routines, invariably involving shutting doors and turning on and off and on and off light switches! That is cool though as we know what to expect now and subconsciously we found ourselves shutting doors too!! Elise unfortunately coped far worse than Michael and the challenging side of her behaviour came to the fore, big time, especially in the first week. Even though we have had her for three years now (we adopted her when she was two) in the whole scheme of things, this is a relatively short time and she is still very insecure. Because she has fitted so well into our family and is so happy, we have almost forgotten that she is adopted and inadvertently downplay the associated problems. Even though logically she knew that she was coming home with us, emotionally, she was not, hence the behaviours. Trouble is, even though we know the reasons for it all, it doesn't alleviate the situation and I can freely admit that my patience does wear thin at times!
Not to worry though - as someone recently said to me, we are not robots and as usual, we worked through it and all was fine at the end. As she stood in front of me this morning in her new school uniform (the second one of the morning as she managed to spill milk all down the first attempt!) looking as proud as Punch, it really hit home to me how much she has come on in the last three years. Whether your child is just starting 'big school' or are old timers, lets hope they have a good year. I am going to go and put on the radio now - it is too quiet!!
A big pat on the back to everyone for surviving the hols and hopefully you have all come out of it all relatively unscathed. From our own perspective, we had a really nice 'break' - a few dodgy moments as usual but overall I would say that us and, more importantly, the kids had a really good time. Did loads, and thanks to our fab direct payment carers, the whole process ran a lot more smoothly that normal. It's amazing the difference that an extra pair of hands can make.
We also spent a fun two weeks in France but, as we have found before, a change of environment presents its own issues. Michael coped really well but as usual had to develop his own little routines, invariably involving shutting doors and turning on and off and on and off light switches! That is cool though as we know what to expect now and subconsciously we found ourselves shutting doors too!! Elise unfortunately coped far worse than Michael and the challenging side of her behaviour came to the fore, big time, especially in the first week. Even though we have had her for three years now (we adopted her when she was two) in the whole scheme of things, this is a relatively short time and she is still very insecure. Because she has fitted so well into our family and is so happy, we have almost forgotten that she is adopted and inadvertently downplay the associated problems. Even though logically she knew that she was coming home with us, emotionally, she was not, hence the behaviours. Trouble is, even though we know the reasons for it all, it doesn't alleviate the situation and I can freely admit that my patience does wear thin at times!
Not to worry though - as someone recently said to me, we are not robots and as usual, we worked through it and all was fine at the end. As she stood in front of me this morning in her new school uniform (the second one of the morning as she managed to spill milk all down the first attempt!) looking as proud as Punch, it really hit home to me how much she has come on in the last three years. Whether your child is just starting 'big school' or are old timers, lets hope they have a good year. I am going to go and put on the radio now - it is too quiet!!
Discrimination at the Fete
By John on 03 Jul 2008
A couple of weeks ago, we had our village carnival which was followed by a fete at the recreation ground. The kids' eyes lit up when they saw that the main attraction was a massive inflatable bouncy castle and slide. Along with our friends, we queued up, only to be told that we were not allowed on as adults were not allowed to accompany children. Despite the fact that I explained that both of mine are physically disabled and need assistance in climbing etc, we were refused entry because of 'insurance reasons'! I'm not quite sure what they expected me to do on the castle (the last time I did a roly-poly I pulled a muscle in my neck!) and I would have thought that they would have been in more danger had I just let them go on their own. It's just another ever present reminder that our children are different and that, even in an arena which is supposed to be for families, it seems that disabled families are excluded yet again and made to feel awkward. I have emailed the carnival organisers three times now and have still received no reply - does that tell me something?
On a positive note, today we received notification that we have been allocated direct payments for eight hours a week during the school holidays, which is GREAT. This will allow me to have an extra pair of hands to take the kids out and do all the normal mundane things that everyone else seems to manage, like going to the shops or taking the kids to the park! Hurrah!
On a positive note, today we received notification that we have been allocated direct payments for eight hours a week during the school holidays, which is GREAT. This will allow me to have an extra pair of hands to take the kids out and do all the normal mundane things that everyone else seems to manage, like going to the shops or taking the kids to the park! Hurrah!
Seizing opportunities
By Paula on 06 Jun 2008
Life is a funny old thing, isn’t it? All the twists and turns, which at the time seem insurmountable, mould us into the people that we are today without us having any say in the matter at all. The values and priorities that we used to have somehow end up by the wayside, replaced by a whole new set, shaped by the day to day events which make all of our families so special. Until the last few weeks, I hadn’t really realised how much my priorities had changed as a result of having the children but subsequent events have made me realise what a better family we are as a result.
As I am writing, Michael is off school with a sickness bug and I have got an Open University exam the week after next which I have not been able to revise properly for, due to the aforementioned bug and the joys of half term! I know that I should be getting nervous but in comparison to the fact of whether Michael would or would not lose his kidney a couple of years ago, it really does seem inconsequential.
In addition, John texted me about an hour ago to say that he had handed in his notice at work to go self-employed. One of the many reasons is so that he can spend time with the children and a big driving force behind this move was the recent sad, premature death of a girl who I used to help out at school. It suddenly dawned on us how fortunate we are to have the opportunities that we have and how important it is to seize them if we have the opportunity. Yes, we could have more money and security if he stayed where he was but then life isn’t all about this. You only get one chance!
As I am writing, Michael is off school with a sickness bug and I have got an Open University exam the week after next which I have not been able to revise properly for, due to the aforementioned bug and the joys of half term! I know that I should be getting nervous but in comparison to the fact of whether Michael would or would not lose his kidney a couple of years ago, it really does seem inconsequential.
In addition, John texted me about an hour ago to say that he had handed in his notice at work to go self-employed. One of the many reasons is so that he can spend time with the children and a big driving force behind this move was the recent sad, premature death of a girl who I used to help out at school. It suddenly dawned on us how fortunate we are to have the opportunities that we have and how important it is to seize them if we have the opportunity. Yes, we could have more money and security if he stayed where he was but then life isn’t all about this. You only get one chance!
Trivial irritations
By Paula on 20 May 2008
At the moment I am sitting on the settee and our rabbit is jumping all over my lap top - honestly, if it isn’t the kids…! Have entered a relatively calm patch in our household which is a bit weird as I am waiting for something to hit the fan soon!
I think though that because we have entered a brief hiatus, all the little things that I wouldn’t normally notice have become more obvious and therefore more irritating. The main thing that I have noticed is how seemingly trivial events which others never notice, have such a big impact on our lives. Michaels school coat, for example, has gone missing for the second time in a fortnight. No big deal, especially with the lovely weather we are now having, but this is the only coat that he will wear in and out of school so if he does need it we either have to literally have a fight to get a different one on or he gets cold. Our dishwasher was supposed to be delivered last week and due to an incompetent sales man it was delayed a week. No big deal, but this resulted in an hour long tantrum by Michael who had been prepped for its arrival with everyone who got in his way getting thumped. Elise’s transport has changed slightly to fit in better for the Escort (!) so she is now getting home ten minutes later, the same time as Michael. Because he has his rigid routine, Elise has to virtually be ignored for 15 minutes, which of course leads to her attention seeking and the whole evening is thrown out. (Do it the other way around and things are even worse.)
All little inconsequential events and the perpetrators are unaware of the repercussions of their actions, most of which are inadvertent. However, like a little butterfly, these little ripples lead on to certain chaos. Have got no solution to all this, but sometimes wish that people would be a little more astute and thinking in their actions.
I think though that because we have entered a brief hiatus, all the little things that I wouldn’t normally notice have become more obvious and therefore more irritating. The main thing that I have noticed is how seemingly trivial events which others never notice, have such a big impact on our lives. Michaels school coat, for example, has gone missing for the second time in a fortnight. No big deal, especially with the lovely weather we are now having, but this is the only coat that he will wear in and out of school so if he does need it we either have to literally have a fight to get a different one on or he gets cold. Our dishwasher was supposed to be delivered last week and due to an incompetent sales man it was delayed a week. No big deal, but this resulted in an hour long tantrum by Michael who had been prepped for its arrival with everyone who got in his way getting thumped. Elise’s transport has changed slightly to fit in better for the Escort (!) so she is now getting home ten minutes later, the same time as Michael. Because he has his rigid routine, Elise has to virtually be ignored for 15 minutes, which of course leads to her attention seeking and the whole evening is thrown out. (Do it the other way around and things are even worse.)
All little inconsequential events and the perpetrators are unaware of the repercussions of their actions, most of which are inadvertent. However, like a little butterfly, these little ripples lead on to certain chaos. Have got no solution to all this, but sometimes wish that people would be a little more astute and thinking in their actions.