I had a really interesting conversation with one of my friends recently who has been having a bit of a rough time. Her child has quite complex special needs and she arranged to have a home meeting with a support group befriender to share her worries and to talk to someone who could empathize with her position as this befriender has a child with similar needs.

Anyway, after the meeting, my friend was actually quite fed up and actually decided that she did not want any more visits. One reason behind this was that it was yet another thing to fit into an already jam packed schedule. The other reason was that she said that she felt a bit awkward as if she was exaggerating her problems, because the visitor's child was much more disabled than hers. She felt as though she was perhaps making too much of a fuss and that she should just get on with it because others have so much more to deal with.

I can really understand this viewpoint as sometimes when I look at other children, I feel that ours aren’t too bad. They can walk although they often fall, they can communicate although this often involves sign and they have got a fantastic quality of life. When I compare them to their normal peers though, there is no comparison and the full extent of their disabilities are all too apparent. It is all a sliding scale and I know that we should not compare our children with others, but we do. Even though my friend felt awkward there was no need as she has to deal day in and day out with the demands of her child and even though these are not as severe as some, they are still very hard work. Whatever our children’s special needs they are all special, just in different ways.